I’m 43 years old, single, fat and have not been on a date in my life. Well other than the Thursday weekly date I had with Sweet Frog and their five dollar fill it up with as much as you want deal. How did that happen you ask? Well, to be honest (and that is what this is about right) it is the result of a string, a very long string of unhealthy relationships as a result of not having self-worth. There I said it. As you can probably figure out, I ate to fill the void of healthy relationships. That’s a lot of eating to fill that big of a hole.
When I was young I made some terrible decisions and then spent most of my adult life with one man, who has never and may never commit. Long story short I stayed through the cheating, drinking and fighting because words someone told me haunted me. They said “When you love someone you fix it, you don’t give up” and “Being in a relationship is better than dying alone”. Those words came from the same person and both statements, I now recognize, are bad advice. (In my humblest of opinion of course)
We did breakup for a period of about 5 years, but in a weak moment we got back together. Nothing had changed. He was still selfish and unwilling to love. No amount of time was going to change that.
I asked him to leave recently. It was the easiest hard thing I have ever done. I am not sure where the strength came from. With BLARING clarity, I just knew this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, whether it be with someone or along. Being internally happy was suddenly more important that not being alone. Heck, I was more alone when he and I were together, than I am now. Honestly I was sad for about 5 mins, then I was excited. Him leaving was just another step in me finding my happy place.
I am so excited, so many extraordinary things are going to happen in 2017. Just wait and see.
Are you ready? I know I am