Wrapping up 2016

I think many folks would agree with me when I say:

WHAT A F**KING YEAR 2016 WAS!

Without a doubt 2016 put me to the test and I amaze myself with how strong I actually am by making it through by flipping the circumstances to positive things.  Many of the events of 2016 lead me to journey/path I am currently on and I wouldn’t change a thing.  Some I can share, like the birth of my first grandchild, the grand-baby and her mother moving into my home, the finality of my long-term relationship (it didn’t just end, it was the final FINAL – no doubt its over, over), the raw emotions felt nationally associated with the presidential election and the hurt it caused, and random other blows. Some I have to keep close. The wounds and secrets surrounding them are still sharp and painful and not ready for public consumption.  I’m not pushing them away, I am dealing with them, just not in a public setting, not yet anyway. It seems at each and every turn I got another punch in the stomache.

I’m so looking forward to seeing this year in my rearview mirror.  Although there were joyous occasions (like spending time and hanging with the little one below), it was mainly ROUGH.

The thought of some of the events brings tears to my eyes. Not to mention looking in the mirror and seeing what is looking back at me.  I got to a place where I just didn’t want to settle anymore. So I literally got off the couch in November and started making changes.

  1. Braces to fix my smile
  2. Mole (Mount Everest) removed from forehead
  3. Skin tags removed
  4. Started process to have WLS – Sleeve
  5. Completed 2 5Ks
  6. Joined 4 woman team to complete 2017 miles in 2017

I’m setting myself up to have a Fabulous 2017.  It is a conscious choice not to make resolutions. I am making lifetime change , period.  It’s not going to be easy by far, but by stepping out and acknowledging what issues I need to work on, I think I am off to a good start.  I have an amazingly supportive circle of friends.  Each person has a irreplaceable place in my heart. I am a lucky lucky girl.

So here’s to 2017… Its gonna be great. I am looking forward to Tamaria 2.0, same me just new and improved version.

Let me know what you’re looking forward to in 2017!

PreOp NSV #2

Today I tied my shoes!! No really…  I bent over and tied my shoes. I didn’t choke, feel like I was dying, nor did I have to tie my shoe off to the side because I couldn’t quite reach.  Maybe you don’t understand, I bent over and tied my shoe in the middle like a person who doesn’t have this huge “mothers apron” hindering them. I haven’t lost it completely, but I am now hopefully that maybe it is shrinking.

So in other news… My parents are here visiting me.  How and why is this significant you may ask?  Well my parents are the epitome of unhealthy habits.    They smoke like chimneys and eat outrageously.  Mom eats once a day, maybe twice if it is something good. Dad eats whenever the wind blows and wont eat it if it sounds healthy.  Maybe I am seeing this now because I am watching what I eat, but good grief ITS ALMOST UNBEARABLE to remain on a healthy track when surrounded by bad choices.  I keep my mouth shut, as this is my journey, not theirs. But ugggg…..its so hard.

Night before last it was pretzels and funnel cakes at the festival.  Last night it was pecan pie and ice cream. Let us not forget about the dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast. I feel guilty about my 1 piece of reduced sodium this am.

Oh well.. That is the state of affairs right now..

#Braceface

It’s official!!  You can call me braceface. I’m keeping true to my word. When I said if you don’t like it fix it was my motto for 2017 I MEANT it. (I did say that right?). 

This is my second go round with braces, but my goal is long range this time. I want a pretty smile, not just straight teeth. Plus before I had no business spending money on my teeth. I could barely afford food. 


How freaking sexy is that chick!!! Tiera the lady applying my brackets was the best. She stopped a few times to let me take pictures. Hey remember when they had to do casts of your teeth? They put a glob is stuff in your mouth and you had to bite down on it. Well not anymore folks. They have a scanner. She ran it over my teeth a few times and boom, we had this: 


No more gross globby stuff in your mouth to choke on. 

Whelp just wanted to update you on progress. Tomorrow is the removal of Mount Everest off my forehead. 

Ta Ta for now. 

PS. I baked another 3 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange tomorrow and didn’t even taste the batter. My scale hasn’t moved in a few days, but I’m good with it holding steady as long as it is not moving up. ❤️❤️

Nutrition appt #2 (and other random stuff) 

My second nutrition appointment was my first in a group setting. I wish I could say it was informative, however it was really only information I already had.  We chatted about how to make the right food choices and making sure that you plan to succeed by planning ahead and keeping healthy snacks available. 

Lets be clear:  I HATE GROUP ANYTHING.  There is always that one person that derails the class and this one was more of the same. I’m hoping for a different outcome in my third and final nutritional meeting coming up in Jan. Also, I’m thinking of checking out the support group. We’ll see when the time comes. 

I do however love getting on the scale when I know I’ve been losing. Here is my stats as of the 2nd nutritional meeting: 


It’s a bit daunting seeing how much more I have to lose to get to my goal. But as my friend/trainer says, “you didn’t put it on in a day”. It did taste a whole lot better going on though. Sigh, I digress. 

I do keep two separate tools for tracking my weight loss. The app above is MonitorYourWeight. I only log official weigh ins at a health providers facility. That way I know exactly what they have. 

For everyday use, I use the following:  I have an Apple Watch and a Fitbit flex 2. I wear both when I am not at work. My scale is a Aria by Fitbit. To track my food I use Lose It premium. ($20 for the year). It integrates with my Fitbit, I can type in recipes and share them with friends and I can track my macros. If you have an Apple Watch or Lose It let me know and we can be friends. 

I shouldn’t but I weight myself daily. Awful I know, but it’s my drug. Let me have my weight ins please. 

Also coming up in Jan is my physiological exam. I’m sorta nervous about that one. I have no idea what to expect. Let me know how yours went if you’ve gone before. 

Jingle Bell Jogs (or not)

While my good friend Jen #2 (Both my Jens last names start with C’s) was here, you might recall we did a 5K turkey trot Thanksgiving morning. Well…. I decided to sign up for another one just to keep the momentum going on this journey. Yes, I signed up unprompted and pretty darn excited about it too. Knowing there wouldn’t be any actual jogging happening on my part (this time *wink*), I also signed up my granddaughters mom Rachael. We could bring the baby and the dog 🐶, so how could this not be fun. Right??  

Fast forward to the morning of. I don’t think it could have been much colder. A blistering 25 degrees. All three of us (myself, Buggy and Rachael) have all been sick for days, but decided to power through and go. Warmly dressed, Santa suits on and ready for action we headed to the starting line with a sea of other Santas. There was a DJ on the ones and twos. (Seriously I don’t know why I said it like that). Everyone was dancing and having a good old pre race time. 

My little yorkie-poo Jase was a huge hit. Folks loved him in his reindeer sweater and he is now instagram famous 😉. Ok maybe not famous but he did pose for tons of photos. 


Being that we had a dog and a stroller we waited till after the crowd had passed at the start of the race to join the group. Things were moving along until about 1.5 miles in. Rachael was hurting and the baby wasn’t happy.  Two miles in I lost Rachael and Buggy to a Dunkin Donuts, but I was determined to finish. Sorta. 

At this point I was dead last. How do I know you ask?? Well when the sherif car is behind you with his lights on And he’s telling all the race support staff that you’re the last one, you can be sure.

(This is when the cop car passed me since I was on the sidewalk)

At some point the truck that picks up the cones, timer gear, and water stations passed me too. I was  not going to stop, in fact having to cop car behind me made me walk faster I think. I had to pass someone so he wasn’t right behind me. (This is a symptom of being a wall flower. Please no attention on me) 

I finished the race and did pass two groups of walkers. One group was the couple from the cop car picture above. WHOOP WHOOP. However, I was so late getting in, there was no fan fare. I’m not even entirely sure I got an adult metal. See the kids fun run was wrapping up when I finally crossed the finish line. But the point is: I FINISHED!!!! 


Today ( a day later) I’m really not too sore, just a bit in my hips. My face and lungs still hurt a bit from the cold, but I’m proud of myself. I could have Ubered from Dunkin Donuts. I thought about it and I would have been so disgusted with myself if I had. Here’s to making the right choices for a healthy mind and body.

Next stop is 2017 steps in 2017. YEAH BOY!!! 

The QUEEN of unhealthy relationships 

I’m 43 years old, single, fat and have not been on a date in my life. Well other than the Thursday weekly date I had with Sweet Frog and their five dollar fill it up with as much as you want deal. How did that happen you ask? Well, to be honest (and that is what this is about right) it is the result of a string, a very long string of unhealthy relationships as a result of not having self-worth. There I said it. As you can probably figure out, I ate to fill the void of healthy relationships. That’s a lot of eating to fill that big of a hole.

When I was young I made some terrible decisions and then spent most of my adult life with one man, who has never and may never commit. Long story short I stayed through the cheating, drinking and fighting because words someone told me haunted me. They said “When you love someone you fix it, you don’t give up” and “Being in a relationship is better than dying alone”. Those words came from the same person and both statements, I now recognize, are bad advice. (In my humblest of opinion of course)

We did breakup for a period of about 5 years, but in a weak moment we got back together. Nothing had changed. He was still selfish and unwilling to love. No amount of time was going to change that.

I asked him to leave recently. It was the easiest hard thing I have ever done. I am not sure where the strength came from. With BLARING clarity, I just knew this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, whether it be with someone or along. Being internally happy was suddenly more important that not being alone. Heck, I was more alone when he and I were together, than I am now. Honestly I was sad for about 5 mins, then I was excited. Him leaving was just another step in me finding my happy place.

I am so excited, so many extraordinary things are going to happen in 2017. Just wait and see.

Are you ready? I know I am

 If you don’t like it, fix it 

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Aside from my weight, there are some cosmetic things I would like to have done that I have been putting off till I lost some weight, however why not now. Let’s get started now, why wait! 

There is this mole on my forehead is like Mount Everest. 


It’s gotta go.  Do you see that thing?  Its the kind of mole that kids notice.  “Hey lady do you know you have a bump on your forehead?” sigh, from the mouth of babes.  My grand baby thinks its something to play with.  LOL

Whelp its going bye bye bye! 


On December 14th, after sharing my face with it for 30+ years, I am having it removed.  I can’t wait!!

One other thing that needs to be fixed it my teeth.  I need braces and then a few small things to fix my smile.  I know there is going to lots smile in the year to come.  I went to several consult appointments and decided on one close to my house.  I could have saved myself about $1500 if I would have gotten it done a few years ago, but live an learn.

Also, from what I understand I will have to wait about a year to have my “mothers apron” removed.  So research for that can wait a little while longer.

I know what you’re thinking, T your beautiful the way you are.  Well I know that, silly.  These are just enhancements, you know like putting rims on your car or tinting the windows.  *WINK*

 

 

 

My first PreOp NSV

Living near the city it seems the #1 social thing to do is meet for dinner and drinks. I have been avoiding these situations like the PLAGUE. However, it’s Christmas time and I want to be a part of the festivities and hanging out. 

Last night my friend and I met for dinner. I was ready. Menu preread, entree selected, and mind set on not eating the bread before the meal. CHECK

When we arrived I was so nervous. I am keeping my WLS semi private because I’m not ready to deal with the negative comments yet. So when the waiter came I asked it I could order off the kids menu. He said sure with an understanding smile on his face. I didn’t even look at my friend, LOL. 

When they brought the warm bread and that cheesy, garlicy olive oil my mouth 👄 just wanted one bite. However,  I know one bite isn’t enough for me, EVER. SO I heald firm on NONE (I do have to say writing this my mouth was watering just thinking about it). 

 I ordered Steak tips, garlic mash cauliflower and carrots. Victory! It was more than enough. I only ate half and have an amazing lunch today. My friend even  commented that maybe we should start sharing entrees when we eat out now since portion sizes have become so big. Victory! 

It’s reassuring that I can still participate in fellowship with my friends and not feel left out because of my fear of the menus. It’s a lifestyle change, not the end of life. It’s about making smart choices and not choosing to stay home. ❤️
**I hope I spelled entree right. HE HE HE

Thanksgiving & giving thanks!

I had the most amazing Thanksgiving.  It didn’t revolve around food for the first time.  My friend Jen flew in from FL.  I met her a few years ago when she started filling in for my personal trainer.  We chatted and had lots in common, however I was a client and she has a strong work ethic. Anyway when the client/trainer relationship ended we became good friends.  Love her to death!  She is so motivating and helps keep me on track.

We did a turkey trot 5K early Thursday morning, then came home, took a nap and then cooked our amazingly healthy and quick Thanksgiving feast.  Turkey breast, paleo cranberry sauce, mashed cauliflower, carrot fries and green beans almondine. All of it was so good.

Later that evening I was able to take Jen on her first Black friday shopping trip.  Although we didn’t get up early Friday and hit the stores, we did manage to get some shopping in later in the day. Over the weekend we started tracking our food on the lose it app.  I am hoping that keeping track will help me to find out where I can make improvements.

All in all, it was a great visit and I can’t wait for her to come back.